Aisha Belva Kazim

You have finally done it. You made the difficult but necessary decision to cut ties with someone toxic in your life. It might have been a spouse, a friend, a colleague, or even a family member. And now, here you are, standing on the other side.

But it still feels surreal. Every so often, you catch yourself wondering if you did the right thing. You question whether you were too harsh or if you should reach out to see how they are doing.

These thoughts are normal. Walking away from someone who played a significant role in your life, even when they were harmful, is a major shift. But here is the truth. You made the right choice. You chose yourself, your peace, and your well-being. That is something to honor.

Still, it is not uncommon to feel a void or even a strange sense of longing. Not because you miss the toxicity, but because the absence of chaos can feel unfamiliar. Understanding why this happens can help you move forward with clarity and compassion.

Why you might miss a toxic person

When you leave a toxic relationship, conflicting emotions often surface. One moment you may feel relieved, free, and empowered. The next, you may feel lonely, guilty, or nostalgic.

Familiarity creates comfort
Humans are creatures of habit. Even harmful relationships become familiar over time. You knew what to expect, whether it was criticism, manipulation, or emotional tension. With that person gone, your mind is adjusting to a new reality, one that may feel quieter than you are used to.

Take a moment to reflect. Write down the routines or interactions you think you miss. Ask yourself whether they were genuinely fulfilling or simply familiar.

Emotional conditioning
Toxic individuals often create a sense of dependency. Over time, they may chip away at your confidence or make you feel like you need their approval to succeed. Even after the relationship ends, those emotional imprints can linger.

Ask yourself whether they made you feel incapable on your own, whether you constantly sought validation, and how their presence affected your self esteem. Then gently challenge those beliefs. You are capable, worthy, and complete on your own.

Guilt and societal pressure
If the person was a family member or long term partner, guilt may show up. Society often encourages us to keep the peace at all costs. But forgiveness does not mean allowing continued harm. Protecting your mental and emotional health is not selfish. It is necessary.

Loneliness
Loneliness can be difficult to sit with. The absence of someone, even someone toxic, can leave an empty space. But loneliness can also be an invitation. It offers time to reconnect with yourself and rediscover parts of you that may have been neglected.

How to move on and thrive

Letting go is only the first step. Healing and rebuilding come next.

Create new routines
Filling the space left behind can feel challenging, but it is also an opportunity. Begin your days with intention. Set small goals that bring you joy. Explore interests you once set aside. This is your time to shape a life that reflects who you truly are.

Set boundaries and honor them
Toxic people sometimes try to re enter your life when they sense distance. Be prepared to protect your space. You are allowed to say you need time, space, or no contact at all. You do not owe anyone access to your life.

Build a support system
Healing does not have to be a solo experience. Lean on people who listen without judgment. Consider support groups or a therapist if that feels right for you. Sharing your experience can be deeply validating.

Prioritize self care
Self care goes beyond surface level comfort. It is about caring for your mind, body, and spirit. Nourish yourself physically, emotionally, and creatively. Journal your thoughts. Rest when you need to. Give yourself permission to slow down.

Rediscover your identity
Toxic relationships often blur your sense of self. Take time to reconnect with who you are. Reflect on what brings you joy, what you value, and the kind of life you want to build moving forward.

Finding peace in the silence

At first, the quiet may feel unfamiliar. Over time, it becomes a place of clarity. Without constant negativity, you begin to hear your own thoughts again. You start trusting yourself. Peace becomes something you cherish rather than fear.

Imagine a life where you feel safe, grounded, and at ease. Hold onto that vision. It is not distant. It is unfolding.

Moving forward

There may be moments when doubt resurfaces. When it does, remind yourself of this truth. You deserve peace. You deserve happiness. You deserve relationships rooted in respect and care.

Walking away from someone toxic is an act of courage. It is a declaration that you matter. The journey may not be easy, but the freedom, peace, and growth waiting on the other side are worth it.

Keep moving forward. Your best days are still ahead.

Take one small step today to support your healing. Write it down. Then honor it. Your future self will thank you.